TVA’s Guide to the World Cup for Those Who Hate ‘Soccer’, Part III: The Second Round of Matches of the Groups
You’ve made it this far, Football Hater, so you might as well see what else is going on with this crappy tournament that does nothing but take valuable TV time away from the CFL pre-game schedule. Having told you how to know what’s going on at this year’s world cup, and given a review of the first round of games, it’s time to get to the meat of the matter. Which teams are going home, which are advancing, and which are going to make games more meaningless than a Spanish ticket to the closing ceremonies.
Here’s what the second round of games had to offer.
Brazil 0 – 0 Mexico
None are more proud than Patton Oswalt’s fatter Mexican cousin to have gotten Mexico into this position leading into the match. How’s the match? Well, you know that bar fight that goes on forever between two large guys at the bar where they punch the living snot out of each other for what seems like forever but no one gets the girl in the end? That. Mexico try really hard and make Brazil run around a lot. Great cardio!
What to Say to Sound Smart: “Neymar is in this thing, right?”
Rating: 7 Montezuma’s Revenges out of 10