While Dude Was Getting Sworn In…
Here’s a list of the updates I made on Twitter and Facebook while watching the CNN.com/Facebook feed of now President Obama’s inauguration:
Bushed: (adj) – a feeling of ennui felt in watching someone far superior to yourself celebrated as they take a position you previously held
Todd is wondering is it solely because Obama is really that good, or that Bush and all his minions were really that bad?
Todd thinks that the last words of the inauguration should be “Go git ’em, Tiger!”
Todd has noticed that while Obama’s Facebook page has 4,000,000 supporters, Harpers has 25,000. Huh.
Overheard in the back of a DC limo: “Wanna do some blow?” “Umm, no. I’ve got to get inaugurated.”
Did I hear right? CNN telling people to prepare for the elephants? Suprise Republican attack? How do they know?
Todd feels sorry for Obama in that since Dan Quayle is there, it says that he didn’t have much say in the invite list.
“Hey, Al. Bit cold for global warming, don’t you think?” “Bill, why don’t you stick it.” about 2 hours ago from web
Todd is marketing a new product…Bush-B-Gone.
Probably wise not to have the prayer come from Westboro Baptist.
No mention of Scientology? John Travolta will be a no-show at the wrap party, then.
Todd just got a Facebook feed from Herbert Hoover’s inauguration: “Folks, this is going to suck ass.”
Todd is thinking it’s going to take Obama at least two or three days of open Oval Office windows to really get the stink out.
Todd is wondering who this “Obama” guy is that everyone’s talking about. I like the cut of his jib.
Todd is glad they didn’t decide to SuperBowl this thing and put up the Rolling Stones instead of Aretha.
Todd sadly sees the thought bubble above Obama’s head as it reads “I love Aretha, but I wanted John Oates.”
Todd was hoping that Chuck D would slide in beside Yo-Yo Ma.
Todd can see Bill Clinton from here wanting to bust out his sax.
Todd thinks that that ran smoothly. Now he decides to get tongue-tied?
Todd is never that comfy when there’s a new president standing around a place where live ammo is going off.
Todd thinks the only help Bush offered Obama during the transition is showing him where the shitters are.
Todd wonders “never settling for less”? Did you meet the guy you just replaced?
Todd can’t understand why Obama needs to rebuild America. There were 8 years of Bush and…oh wait…I get it now…
Todd thinks the show notes will go like this: “Barack, you kinda lost them with the economy stuff. Never close with that.”
Todd wonders why he forgot about Scientologists. So much for Tom Cruise accepting a dinner invite.
Todd is hoping he doesn’t here the words, “…and now for your closing act, Dustin Diamond.”
Todd wonders what Obama’s first drink gonna be? I think Michelob.
Todd says CNN had me until Starbucks showed up as a sponsor. Eat it and eat it huge.
Todd is glad the speech writer that suggested closing with “I own you bitches!” wasn’t listened to.
Todd now lives in a world where probably at least one black man will get served at a Waffle House.
New post-inauguration tradition for me: Frying ham
Todd can’t help but think of the last episode of M*A*S*H right now.
“Hang on…this is my helicoptor? Then we’re going to DisneyWorld…”
“…and please, don’t let the doorknob hit you in the ass.”
“You can hide spare women in here, just in case.” “Bill, Michelle is right behind you…”
That’s either Yoda in a suit, or President Carter just showed up
“…and for dessert, Mr. McCain, the pie today is crow.”
Well, when was the last time you watched a streaming video feed of lunch?
Todd hopes there isn’t a Republican waiter currently dragging his testicles through the President’s bisque.
Todd looks forward to a time when the song “Celebration” will no longer be used for anything. Ever.
Todd just got here…what I miss?