Todd Van Allen Works Dirty

Todd Van Allen Works Dirty

One of the first rules of show business that they’ll teach you either at Humber, talking with professional comics, or just rifling through the back of your closet, finding the bag marked “Common Sense”, and peeking inside, is that you should always look somewhat decent on stage. The general rule that I’ve heard from fellow comics is just be a wee bit dressier than the crowd you’re performing for. If they’re a jeans-and-t-shirt crowd, you should wear maybe jeans and a dress shirt. If they’re wearing business casual, you go a wee bit more; say suit sans tie. Last night at Betty’s, I took this well known yet delicate rule into my hands, looked it over, and then broke it like I had hammers for hands.

On a night when the Sens decided it was enough for them in the Stanley Cup, Toronto FC couldn’t protect Cunningham’s about-effing-time goal to win, and a night that I was slated for Betty’s, how do you start the night? Well, you go play soccer five blocks away. At least we could turn out a win (3-2 and I picked up an assist on the winner…not that I’m bragging). So, with not a lot of time [read: ‘none’] to shower, I had to go straight out to Betty’s to grab my set. I was also sandwiched for time as I had to pack for my trip to Florida the next day (going down for the North American Rangers Supporters Association convention in Naples) and needed to do the spot and leave. So, up second I went in the same shorts that I oozed sweat into for 90 minutes.

Tried out some new stuff that seemed to go well and got some further lowdown. While in Florida, I’ve lined up a few shows. The first is in Boca Raton as soon as I land with the second the next night in Fort Meyers. What’s the lowdown on Boca Raton? Do your old material. Not your material that you’ve been doing for ages that you know that works, no…your material that will relate to geriatrics. Huh. Guess my new ‘Facebook’ bit won’t get a shout. I have every faith that the show’ll be decent. I guess we’ll see. If there’s an internet cafe in the wonderful city of Naples, and I can brave it outside and dodge the three straight days of thunderstorms (really, who knows how to pick vacations?), I’ll let you know how the shows goes. Potential titles will be: “The Octogenarian in the Front Row Was Dead Before I Killed”, “Anyone Smell Liniment?”, or “Christ, I’m Old, and I’m Young Here…I’m Moving South!”

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