TVA’s Guide to the World Cup for Those Who Hate ‘Soccer’, Part IV: The Final Round of Matches of the Groups: MOVIES!!!
Since you’ve now read the INTRO TO THE WORLD CUP as well as the ROUND 1 and ROUND 2 match-ups, you as a soccer-hater must hate this. But take heart, once this round is done, and it is, everyone who loses goes home. While they’re booking flights, you get steps closer to enjoying World Cup-free viewing, no more soccer talk, and you can enjoy the Saskatchewan Roughriders playing whoever the hell they are playing. Let’s do something different this round. Let’s see what the games would be like if they were movies. You like movies, right? Sure you do. And putting the games in the context of film, that’d be a hoot! Here we go:
Group A: Brazil 1 – 4 Cameroon; Croatia 1 – 3 Mexico
Movie That Sums Up This Round: HOME ALONE
Hosts Brazil (the McCallister family) have a child (Neymar) that is the only person keeping their house in order against Croatia (Daniel Stern) and Cameroon (Joe Pesci) who is constantly on the lookout for valuables, silverware and win-bonuses. Brazil befriends an old man with family problems (Mexico) and finds the true meaning of Christmas…staying in Brazil for a few more games.