TVA’s Guide to the World Cup for Those Who Hate ‘Soccer’, Part I: “Knowing the Game”

Admittedly, there are a numbered few out there that enjoy “The Beautiful Game” and look forward to the World Cup whenever it happens.

There are others among our complement that look forward to this about as much as a barbed-wire colonoscopy. There are a number of reasons. Hate the fans. Don’t like watching grown men tumbleweeding their way across the field after being brushed by a Kleenex in a look of gallstone-passing agony. And why don’t they use their damn hands?
You know you hate it, you feel smug about it, and will tell anyone who will listen about your abhorrence of the sport like an atheist two drinks in. But something inside you feels like you’re missing out, like when “Life of Pi” was a thing and you had to resort to conversational input like “Yeah…loved the tiger”.

That’s where I can help. Here’s some quick tips to let you still take cursory participation in office conversations about Bosnia and Herzegovina without asking “Seriously, is that a place or did you make it up?” Use these and it will make your month of Hell slide by like England’s chances of winning the thing.

So Close To Being a Host

Admittedly, this whole rant could be fueled by the fact that I’m reading the Johnny Carson book now, but I’m bummed.

Story is this: I had the chance to host a weekly talk show on TV and now it appears that if the opp were any more dead, it would have been photographed in the company Rob Ford.

Yes, it would have been voluntary. Yes, it would have been without pay. Yes, it would have been hard work. Yes, I was totally up for it. And yes, the producer wanted me to do it. But the all the scenery fell to the floor Charlie Chaplin-style.

An Open Letter to Rob Ford: Let’s Talk

Dear Mr. Ford. I hope this letter finds you well. As I can well imagine, this has been quite a week for you, but from the many radio appearances you've made over the past little while, it seems you're holding your head above water, "fighting for...

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Tune #5: “The Left Lane”

Again, still on vacation at this point, this was made, I just realized, on September 11, 2013. No significance on the date. This is the fifth Created using Figure by the good people at Propellerhead....

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Tune #4: “Deep Flutter”

Dropped while away on vacay, I created this post-gym at a coffee shop. Despite being at the gym, it sounds somewhat optimistic. I'm finding more and more the hardest thing about this experiment is not the song creation, it's the title. And this is the...

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